Creative Vibes & Money - #11

DEAR CHANEL:

So… I am officially a Girl on Top!  Girls on Top Productions (GTP), the new prodco that I mentioned in a previous letters asked me to come on board to direct and write!!!!  It’s super exciting.  We had our first meeting a couple days ago and while it was long it was exciting and I felt creative which was awesome.  All of the girls are really great people each with her own skills and assets to contribute but we all seemed to gel nicely in the creative/development meeting… which we both know coming from classes and workshops in graduate programs how difficult it is to really find a nice creative balance where people are actually LISTENING and HEARING each other as opposed to thinking and waiting for their turn to talk.

Similarly, a week ago I responded to an ad on CL, and while those are always hit or miss – this one was for a ‘punch up’ session on a TV pilot with a young (mid 20’s) WOC, anyway she was super cool and really awesome.  Why she had invited three white dudes, with varying and limited experience and myself, still boggles my mind.  But the point is that in the ‘writer’s room’ I felt alive and I felt like this is where I’m meant to be: breaking story and finding ways to make shit funnier and better and just elevating ideas with people who are on the same level as I am and crafting stories.

The good news is that how I felt five years ago about comedy television writing is still the same today, if not even more passionate which is good – particularly after I’ve been educated and learned actually what it is that I decided I wanted to do.

The underbelly, and isn’t there always an underside to it all… is I’m not getting financial reimbursement – YET.  It’s hard because I sort of do this dance in my head and it lightweight stresses me out to the point where I get temporarily depressed and play bingobash for hours at a time, or plants vs. zombies – my zone out the world ipad games lol.  I think – I need income, I need cash flow… but then I say I don’t really need money right now, I’ve got some savings and maybe I should just ride it out a little longer so I don’t join the work force and can focus on keeping my head clear and keep working on my writing.  Or I’m trying to find a job that’s more than a barista, waiter, cashier type of gig that is in line with the career path but isn’t a full time crappy assistant where my boss sucks my soul and squeezes 75 hours a week out of me.  But sometimes the stress of waiting for the line of money to run out debilitates me and anchors me to my couch where I spend half the day doing nothing.

Conflicted,

--Row

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DEAR ROW: 

What is bingobash? I swear I read your letter, but this is the second time you have mentioned this game, and I have no idea what it is. And I am intrigued about what you’re spending hours at a time doing? Is this game really that engaging? Should I play?

Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS. Finding a group of artists that you vibe with is rare and paramount to your survival in this industry. I mean neither one of us can produce art in a bubble. I suppose we could decide to perform one-woman shows on stage or on Youtube, but that’s not really what attracts us. I’m SO happy that these group of women are doing what they are doing and that you are hopping on board in the beginning stages. It will be an amazing journey to grow with them. Who knows what might become of the work that you do...

On another note, you and this damn CL. The women and the gigs, huh? It’s just a one-stop shop for you, eh? Though I’m not quite sure I gather what this ‘punch up’ session is about. Are you leaving something out? Did someone go all CL on someone else in the writer’s room, as I would normally expect a person from CL to do? Are you hiding a murder from me? Please tell me more. Unless you are hoping to keep it in the underbelly.

Speaking of the underbelly. Financial sustainability will always be peeking out from wherever we are trying to find fertile ground. Like effing bad weeds you can’t kill. I try to look at my financial stresses the same way I view my student loans. I’m never going to pay those suckers off, so I’ll just give that heifer Sallie Mae whatever I feel like it until I die. She’s not going to stop me from living, buying a home, traveling, drinking fine wine (or hell, wine from a box), eating expensive meals when I desire, and so on. BUT if I so happen to hustle well enough to have a Broadway hit, a credit on a television show AND sell a screenplay, then Sallie might get a little more change from me. But it would probably take all three successes for that to occur. Alls I’m saying, though hypocritically, is life always has a way of working out, with or without our worries.

If you do need cash, consider working outside of the industry, if nothing inside the industry floats your boat. Though the coffee shop gig might annoy me at times, it’s refreshing to be in a job where I don’t have to think because mental exhaustion kills my creativity.

Write me back,

Chanel