The In-tern, ESQ - #4

DEAR ROW:

Even though I’m getting it from the front and the back, not literally, I know where your mind goes, I know I’m supposed to be in theater. But like you, I wrestle with being an intern. Yes, it was a genius excuse to get away from grad school for one semester, and small town Athens, OH. But…But I’m 30! And while I never thought I would be both a barrister and a barista, I just certainly never imagined I would ever be an intern at this age.

How does a thirty-year old intern address oneself? Do they say intern? Do they actually say
in-tern? I’m as modest as they come. I’m like a modest mouse, not the band. You know this,
Row. I hide when anyone gives me a compliment, even if it’s complimenting a shirt that I in
no way possible flew to India to make. But saying intern is like me turning into a Japanese
samurai just to perform seppuku. It. Literally. Kills. My. Soul. It’s like denying all of my
education and experience. It’s self-belittling. Okay. There’s definitely some ego involved in
that too, Row. I want people to know that I am a lawyer. I passed the Illinois bar. And this
is MY CHOICE. If I could wear a sweater that said, “This is MY CHOICE,” and on the back it
listed my education, I would. Would wear it proudly.

But despite the soul killing, my internship affords me backstage passes to the production of
a wonderful play: The Convert, by Zimbabwean actress and playwright, Danai Gurira. Kick-ass Michonne on The Walking Dead, Danai Gurira. No, I still have not watched this television show, Row, and probably never will. But this play. This play actually makes me question my submission to Christianity. Even though I have one foot in Jesus’s blood and the other in common sense, I still questioned my wavering belief in the Bible after reading her play. And if a play can make you do that, I want to write. I want to write plays that will make people question their ego, their submissions, their perceptions, their racism, their stereotypes, their greed, their blissful blindness... This internship is giving me a reason to believe playwriting can actually be a suitable avenue for advocacy. And that I might have just made the right CHOICE.

So call me intern. Go ahead, Row. Just say it. I’ll say it. I am an intern.

Write me back,

Chanel

the intern, ESQ.

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DEAR CHANEL, The Intern, ESQ:

Shall I refer to you as such henceforth? I don’t mind. It seems pretty fucking cool because it’s like the lowest rung and the upper echelon of professions all wrapped into one nifty title. I also slightly resent the fact that you believe my mind is always in the gutter – while, yes I do tend to rent a villa in the gutter, most of the time I sublet it and only use it as a vacation home … but I won’t lie I totally thought about sex when you said you were getting it from both ends… haha.

At the end of the day whatever your title is… you’re making a lateral jump in careers – it’s
the ladder theory. Because of this we must ‘pay our dues’ (I hate that phrase) and start at
some point. So checking the ego at the door and working your way up by building rapport and connections is something you need to do. Break it down this way: You spent four years in undergrad another three in law school then what? Two more as a practicing lawyer? That’s a total of NINE years of hard work… you’re in your third year of graduate school… you might as well be a junior in college the way the world sees you.

Sure, you have transferable skills that make you more that just some youngbuck intern – but
you’re inexperienced, not published, not produced and you haven’t sold anything… so you’re an intern. It is what it is. It is also your choice and who cares what other people may think. As long as you keep in mind that your potential for growth is infinite and you keep working hard and grinding away you’ll soon be interviewing interns to replace you! Use it for what you can and don’t get too bogged down by the label, I know we’re gay… it’s hard for us, but “labels are for jars, not people” (another phrase I hate). See this as an opportunity to make mistakes, learn and reap access to free shows and contacts.

Keep on freeloading because we both know you ain’t getting paid!

--Row